MiNd BoGgLiNg

OK... So it is utterly mind boggling to me that, here at my office, one of my coworkers would:

A) pick up off the printer, my printout I made of something that was sent only to me
B) review it in detail
C) make their updates/notes to said document, and then
D) take them back to the originator of the document (who, in case you didn't get this part, had sent it to me - only me - for my review)

and THEN.... Several hours later...

E) tell me about all of the above, and
F) pull out the stolen printout pages that they had tucked away to the side at their desk and
G) hand them to me

Can I just say...

WHAT THE PHUCK??!!??

Am I losing it, or is every. single. one. of these steps UNBELIEVABLE?!

I was so stunned I just didn't even know how to react!!!!!!!!!

And, while I'm sure I should have called her out on it, I DIDN'T!!!!

Unphuckingbelievable.

And they think *I'M* the freak.

Please take action

Global climate change is not a Democratic or Republican problem, it is not an American problem; it is a human problem.

Even if you are a skeptic about whether global climate change is real, or whether it is being caused by humans.... You have a choice - do something that is good, or do something that is bad. There are changes you can incorporate that require very little effort on your part and virtually no sacrifice of quality of living.

Instead of asking me to justify the facts behind why I am doing something, ask yourself for the justification for why you are not.

Please take action, in any way you can.

Like this.

Or this.

Or this.

Or this.

07/07/07

Save the date; Save Our Selves (S.O.S.)

Vegetarianism

An interesting side effect of becoming vegetarian has been the questions people have asked. I am a rare breed: a southerner that doesn’t eat meat. I have unintentionally become the vegetarian ambassador for many of my friends and coworkers. By virtue of my uniqueness, I am their teacher. The misconceptions are many, and curiosity about this lifestyle choice is high. The number one question I have had seems simple: “Why?”

The answers are somewhat less simple. What is the real question here? Since I am reformed at the modest age of 37, I believe the real question is not really just “why,” but also: why now? What was the catalyst? This is what catches people’s interest. In an age of apathy and inaction, taking a step – any step – seems powerful. The “reasons” not to change are numerous. “The Reason” a change occurs must therefore be compelling.

For me, the catalyst came stealthily. I’ve always been interested in vegetarianism, and in fact had numerous vegetarian cookbooks and cooked many vegetarian meals before converting. So it should be no surprise that, while on a weekend trip to Asheville, NC, I picked up a vegetarian publication when I saw it in a free-newsletter format on a sidewalk. I did not suspect that the surprise centerfold was the agricultural horror story that is meat production in America. In a world as desensitized to gore and violence as ours, I guess I can’t blame PETA for relying on similarly extreme tactics to get our attention.*

When I tell this story, the universal reaction from omnivores is “Aah! No! Stop there! I don’t want to know.” But I needed to know. We should all need to know. Part of what is enabling our current lifestyle is our separation from the suffering that occurs. These animals have the same basic life systems that humans do. They have nerve endings. They can experience fear, and pain. And if you think differently, well, frankly, you’re a fool. And you are wrong. Maybe you are in denial about the horrifying state of production. Perhaps you buy "free range," "organic," or another variety of ambiguous labeling and numb any guilt or curiousity by convincing yourself (incorrectly) that this is a sufficient improvement. Worst yet, maybe you just don’t care.

I care. I needed to know. Once I knew, I changed.

Since adopting the change I have also adopted a true belief in the value of my change. Not only is it better for the animals, it is better for the environment in ways too numerous to detail here. And it is better for me.

If you want to learn more, there are a wide variety of resources available to you. Among them, I highly recommend the book The Way We Eat: Why Our Food Choices Matter by Peter Singer.

And now, for my part, here goes:

1) I get plenty of protein. I don’t have to work any harder at it than I did before – in fact, it’s easier! Where I once used to have to be sure I cooked and ate meat with one of my meals, I now have to make sure eat one of the numerous other protein sources. As noted in one online article, “You can get all the protein you need from plants: soy products, nuts and seeds, sprouts, green vegetables, and even quinoa” (http://www.newstarget.com/001519.html).

2) I don’t have to worry about getting the right mix of vitamins. If I eat a variety of foods (variety is the spice of life), then I get all the vitamins that I need.

3) I don’t eat a lot of tofu. Or salads.

And finally

4) No. I really don’t miss it.

* I do not entirely agree or align myself with PETA’s missions or tactics.

I (heart) my new food processor

Sexy thing that it is...

Coming out

OK, I'm ready. I'm coming out of the closet. Of course, I think everyone already knows, or suspects...

I'm a vegetarian.

I converted 12/17/06, though, truth be told, I had salmon once after that, and maybe ate something else meat-ish between 12/17 and the end of '06... But only a couple of times, and then I went... haha ha... "whole hog." Definitely no meat in 2007.

And, (side rant for a moment here) just in case some of you "vegetarians" were wondering - vegetarian, by definition, means no meat. If you only eat chicken? NOT a vegetarian. Only fish? Again... News flash... NOT vegetarian. You would a*maaaz*ed how many people have proudly let me know that they too are vegetarians. Except, of course, you know... For chicken (/fish/etc.).

Now, what I am NOT is vegan. I'm trying, but really! I love cheese. Really that's it. I can live without all the other stuff, maybe, if I have to. But cheese? Come on! And even the most avowed vegan will admit that vegan cheese isn't quite there yet.

So anyway, this is me coming out of the closet. I'm ready to commit. I'm a vegetarian.

But, for all you omnivores out there, this is a great read. If you have time, I encourage you to take a few minutes and look through all the responses too, there's some good stuff.

I apologize in advance for anyone that's been attacked by a rabid vegan. Like anything else, the people who are the most outspoken as representatives of anything may have a tendency to be intolerant and annoying, and (surprisingly, sadly) unable to participate in a courteous exchange of thoughts. BUT, that said, I truly believe the rabid XXX (insert belief they are rabid about here - food, religion, politics, etc.) people are the minority and you may or may not know about the rest because we tend to just go about quietly living our lives.

Meat.

Yep, I gotta say I like this.

Abandoned Christmas trees make me sad.

One day.

I have trouble finding motivation to do anything because it all just seems like such bs. I mean, what I am doing won’t make a difference anyway, so why bother? We’re constantly thrown one catchphrase after another that resonates, because we know it to be so: “Just Do It,” “dance like no one’s watching” (*blech*), “time waits for no man,” and the ubiquitous “carpe diem.”

Anyone who has had any tenuous success grabbing onto these theories is quick to share their importance, to push others to do the same, to preach the benefit of living moments in the ways we know we should, the ways we know we want to.

And yet the apathy always returns, insidiously sucking away at us. It steals our energy, robs us of our convictions, secretly, quietly, sponging it up. Atrophy at its finest, our peak of action, momentum and control… gradually… declines… just a little now... just a little. Slowly, it disintegrates. At first we see it, hold it, smell it, feel it… even grasp clingingly to it! Then, our focus wanes, our backs turn for a single moment and then it is gone, a mere mirage, something beautiful we once knew.

But it was there!!! Right there! It was beautiful. You’ve just got to know this feeling. You are on track. After having been a drooling observer from the sidelines for so long, you have finally driven the car. We must get it back. And we will. We will seize the day. We will execute our moral imperatives.

After this show.
When we finish dinner.
If we can save enough money.
Once we lose the weight.

If we can release the fear.
Once we stop procrastinating.
After we wake up and recognize our future.

When we embrace change as both inevitable and good
and stop hiding and justifying our way out of our own potential.

One day.

I'm not Living with Ed yet

Post note: I was pretty disappointed in the Living with Ed show. I was going into it hoping to find out some real helpful information about how to live an a sustainable manner from someone that was already doing it, and the show is more of a "can you believe I'm married to this crazy person?" perspective.

***** Hey, America - this guy isn't crazy, he's right. *****
In fact, he may be the only sane one out of all of us.


If you haven't watched An Inconvenient Truth yet, you need to watch it. I intended to go when it was in the theaters and didn't make it happen. I just watched it on Friday night.

First let me say that I went into watching it a bit reluctantly. What I mean to say is, I have definitely wanted to see it since it came out, but I had this notion that I had to watch it at the appropriate moment, being that it was sure to be dry and boring. I just knew that when the movie started I would have to be in the appropriate serious - and wide awake - mood. Suffice it to say that after a long day at work I wasn't sure how awake I was, but decided to "just do it."

This movie was no boring and dry presentation. I found it to be moving, motivational, charismatic... Effective. It made me want to buy 100 copies and leave them places with a stipulation note that says "to take, must watch and share."

All you crazy fools out there who think global warming is a government conspiracy (yeah, how does that work again?) - and though I'm not sure I can still claim you as friends I personally know some of you idiots - need to wake up and smell the atmosphere.


I'm glad I went vegetarian.
I'm glad I use compact fluorescents.
I'm glad I have an alternatively fueled vehicle.
I want to do more.
I need to do more.



I'm glad I'm not having children.

Tiny elephants!

JB always cracks on me because (on the rare occasion that I remember my dream) I have the craziest dreams. He’s just jealous.

So last night I dreamt I was flying just over the treetops, my feet dangling down below me like I was on some cool amusement ride. But it was even better because I could direct where I was going. Now, wait! That’s not even the cool part.

So I was looking down at the treetops as I skimmed by, and I noticed that on the top branches of one the trees (like he had somehow fallen there, maybe off the “ride”) was a tiny live elephant!

So I got really worried once I saw him, because he was stuck there and couldn’t get down. The little guy looked like he was in serious trouble. I knew that if I left him there, he’d either fall and get seriously hurt, or die of starvation. So, I directed my (? Let’s call it a hovercraft for lack of any knowledge of what the heck it was, it was like I was sitting in it with my feet hanging down and loose) “hovercraft” back over the tree and streeeetched down and scooped him up with my foot, and then gingerly transferred him to my hand. He was so tiny that he fit comfortably in the palm of my hand with room to spare. I could tell he was dehydrated and starving because his skin was all loose and hanging on him.

In my dream we now cut to me sitting down to dinner and looking at my plate of food to try to find something I can feed to the elephant… And guess what I finally gave him?! Tiny torn off bits of BROCCOLI! Isn’t that great?!

Of course, now queue JB, jumping out of bed like he was poked with a cattle prod, to answer his ringing cell phone (dream ends here).

Wouldn’t the tiny elephant be a great children’s book character? In my dream he was SOOO cool.

Ok, so maybe I’m nuts. Or maybe it’s some kind of Freudian message about my newfound vegetarianism (since 12/17).

It was a great dream though.

Living with Ed

I'll be watching this Sunday at 7pm.

American Zen is running sideways, writing books, lecturing, referring to theology, psychology, and whatnot. Someone should stand up and smash the whole thing to pieces.
- Nyogen Senzaki

Everyday humor

Preface: There is a lady at work that people refer to as "I Love The Eighties." 'Nuff said.

Actual conversation from 12-21-06

I.L.T.E.: "Actually I do all of my shopping at consignment stores"

Me: (Nooooo... You'd never know! Hahahahaha!!, trying not to do the almost involuntary trio-combo of snort, spurt spit out of my mouth and "HAH!" out loud). "Really? Wow! ...Um... Yeah, I love to shop consignment."

Next thing you know we'll be talking about how all her clothes are "actually 20 years old but [she] takes *really* good care of them."

Hee hee hee!!

Evil. I am evil. But damn it was funny.

Happy Birthday Mommy

I am conflicted about think about and miss you every day.

Save the dam* planet.

And stop unwanted junk mail.

I love my sis.

And here's one of many, many reasons why.

They Have Officially Thought Of Everything Now.

It's true. Someone has finally thought of everything you can think of. We're done. There will be no more inventions. We have reached our creative apex and will only spiral downward back through all of our evolutionary phases until we are once again Neanderthals.

Who, ironically, would probably really appreciate things like this. If they even knew what the heck it was. And... y'know... knew about guns, and all.



By the way, don't miss the season! It's not too late to pick up your condom advent calendars!

Dude, this guy is amazing.

By the way, have I mentioned how much I am enjoying Firefox's new "Stumble!" feature? I LOVE IT! ! ! ! !

Julian Beever

You have totally got to check this out

Storms

When they ask to see your gods
your book of prayers
show them lines
drawn delicately with veins
on the underside of a bird's wing
tell them you believe
in giant sycamores mottled
and stark against a winter sky
and in nights so frozen
stars crack open
spilling streams of molten ice to earth
and tell them how you drank
the holy wine of honeysuckle
on a warm spring day
and of the softness
of your mother
who never taught you
death was life's reward
but who believed in the earth
and the sun
and a million, million light years
of being.

© 1986 J.L.Stanley

I got a whole lotta nothin.

What does it mean when months of your life go by and you feel as if you have nothing new or meaningful to say?


I am as fun and exciting as a bag of hammers.


To beauticians.


(Maybe if you were a carpenter, a bag of hammers would be fun).


I am sick of myself.

A Reflection in the Mirror

Do you ever wish you could see yourself from someone else’s perspective? When I started to think about this speech, one of the first things I wondered about is how other people see me. If you really think about it, this is a large part of who we are. What other people think about us shapes our friendships, our careers, and our lives... whether we want it to or not. The irony of it is that we will never really know what other people see. The closest any of us will ever get is looking at our reflection in the mirror.

When I looked into my mental mirror and started to think about what I could say about myself, I realized that there were three perspectives I could talk about. The first one was, what do other people think about me? Then the harder questions. When I look into the mirror today, what do I see? And finally, who do I see myself becoming?

So I began trying to find out what people think about me. I asked several people the following question. If you could use three adjectives to describe me, what would they be? Now, I realize that the very fact that I am there asking the question affects the response, so I tried to encourage everyone to be brutally honest. I figure that even a hearing “obnoxious, selfish, and inconsiderate” would teach me SOMEthing (maybe not to ask!!). The responses I got surprised me. Here are the words my friends used to describe me:

Positive Deep Punk Outgoing Creative
Ethereal

I don’t even know what ethereal means!! I looked it up. Webster’s says first “airy, light, and intangible,” then “heavenly.” I still don’t know what it means... but I think I like it. They also said something about my connection with animals that I couldn’t really figure out. Oh, no! It’s not what you think. For those of you who know me, I have very strong feelings about animal rights... But that’s another speech.

Then I asked some of the people who don’t know me very well the same question. Again, I was surprised. Their responses included:

Sparkling Intelligent Compassionate

And I want to encourage YOU to think about this question. I want to know how YOU see me. If you have time tonight, I hope you’ll write down your three adjectives and give them to me.

This little experiment taught me a lot about myself and life. What do I see when I look in the mirror? Well, if I only had 3 adjectives to describe myself, my first response would probably be “weird, awkward, and self-conscious.” Then, if I thought about it for a minute, I would probably say “evolving.” One of the things I pride myself on is that I continually try to change, to grow. A few years ago, I heard something that really made me think. Act brave, and no one will know the difference. So I started to act brave. I started to purposefully take on some of the things that scared me. I made a point to think, if there were no fear, what would I do? I acted brave. And you know what? No one can tell the difference!!

This year, I got the best birthday present anyone could ever ask for... and I gave it to myself. I gave myself permission to make big mistakes. Because if you don’t allow yourself to make big mistakes, you’ll never take big risks. And I think you have to take some big personal risks to grow.

Who am I? I am many things. I am a dabbler. I am a poet, a student, a toastmaster, an INDIVIDUAL. When I look in the mirror today there are many reflections. I remember the person I was at 20, shy, quiet, and introverted. I see the person I have become. I am BRAVE.

Who do I see myself becoming? This is the hardest question of them all. I want to do more, to have more, to be MORE. But more WHAT? Well, I hope I never know. What’s left when there is no MORE? I hope I can always say I am evolving. When I am old and gray, I still want to be able to look in the mirror and see all the things I have been, and all the things I can be.

Welcome to Atlanta!

Welcome Flexcar!

Riding out a god-awful case of the fuglys

I’m in the process of changing my hairstyle – painful, and actually something I haven’t successfully done in, oh, let’s see… 15+ years? For a woman, that’s a long time to be sportin’ the same look. For a man it’s usually OK, in fact it’s lucky - assuming you’ve still got all your hair.

I’ve tried to change before from my staple, the “pixie cut.” I’ve done a few minor variations (little flippy curls up the back, etc.), but no real change. That’s because every time I have ever tried to make a “real” change, which (obviously) requires me to GROW the hair (unless I wanted to do a Sinead, which I’ve been tempted to do before…), I always get the inevitable mid-growth attack of the fuglys and, very quickly, give up and chop it back off again.

I’m hoping this is the time that I can make it through. I’m hoping I’ve come to peace with my inner fugly. I am trying very, very hard to ride it out like the rodeo champ I’d like to think I am.

You see, I have a vision of the future. It is a vision of me with cute, somewhat longer (not much, just a bit), and, (most importantly!) different hair.

And, on days like today (and yesterday, and the day before, and actually for a bit now…), when I look in the mirror with a deep depression mingled with bitter resolve and frustration, I will have to heave my deep *sigh* at the fugly looking back at me… And try to remember the vision.

I have a hair cut appointment Saturday at 9:00 am. I'm telling myself, today, that it is to shape this damn fugly so that at least it is fugly with intent and direction and not just fugly by coincidence. But, if my wobbly borrowed patience hat (what, you think I even own a patience hat that I could put on if I wanted to?! Yeahriight.) slips off in a moment of despair... Well, we'll just have to wait and see.

I really really really want this.

And you can get it here if you wanted to buy me a present.

I have ALWAYS wanted to have hot pink hair.

Or, at least, since the mid-eighties, which feels like always and (O.M.G.) is before some now bar-legal babies were born.

The obstacle has been, simply, that whole *work* thing. The places I've been working at since my 19th birthday would, let's just say, "frown" on it. At minimum.

But.... Here's my chance ! ! ! ha ha ha ha ha!!!

Things I just don't understand

So, how is it possible that the 1 3/4 oz. Lance "Hot & Spicy" peanuts are better for you on some stats than the 1 3/4 oz. "Salted" version?!

Like this:

H&S - 290 calories
Salted - 310

H&S - 190 Fat Calories
Salted - 220

H&S - 21g Total Fat (32%)
Salted - 24g (37%)

Now, granted, the Sodium in the H&S is a killer (680mg vs 240mg for salted), but the rest of it? I don't get it! And how can the Salted have 6g Fiber, while the H&S only has 2g?!

Something's foul in Denmark. Or, in Charlotte, NC, as the case may be.

Did you ever have that moment, where someone mentions something to you, and you had totally forgotten that you had told them about it? That, "oh, shi*" moment, when you think to yourself... "Hmmm. Uh oh. (mentally scanning) Is there something I shouldn't have said/done/written about since that person knows about that?!"

Like, when my Dad (Hi Dad! Love you!) mentioned that he can read my blog to keep up with what's new with me, since we don't talk too often on the phone (have I said already, how I detest the telephone? I think yes).

Which, I had forgotten that I had sent him a link for way back when. Ha ha... hah... Yeah! Uhm... Daddy, if you've learned anything about me that you are less than proud of, uh... sorry?

But really - I'm not one for regrets (a great trait, learned from none other than said Daddy), so I'm not really too sorry. The good news is, now maybe you know me a bit better than you might have otherwise, and I just can't find a way to feel bad about that.

And, if you want to turn a "blind eye" to any of my unsavory quirks, I'm ok with that too. Luckily (?) I'm pretty boring, really.

Or maybe the Trix Rabitt and the Cocoa Puff Cuckoo?

Don't you think that Frankenberry and Count Chocula would be AWESOME halloween costumes?!


JB's being a hallo-weenie, saying he won't participate in the (as yet unidentified, possibly nonexistent) parties we will be invited to.

"Lite fare" dinner club, anyone?

Back on the (chuck) wagon

I've been lying to myself. It's easy, you know. You see, I'm addicted to food. Not just food, because technically, greens and low cal stuff are "food," but I'm addicted to the bad stuff.

In part due to a long period where I could eat whatever I wanted (through my 20's), much of my life has been spent existing on large quantities of spaghetti, chips (and dips!), and Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. Not to mention beer. Oh, how I love a frosty beer on a hot day.

If you've been reading my blog, you know that I recenly lost about 25 pounds on the South Beach Diet. I got on the scale today, after fooling myself for more than a month into thinking that I could really go ahead and eat that funnel cake at the fair yesterday, a bunch of chips and dips and other breads the day before, drink beers on Friday night, and on, and on... Guess what I saw on that scale? Yep. Slapped in the face by reality. I saw a big round "165."

So, it's back on the wagon again. I am a person of extremes. Since I've proven I'm unable to handle bad foods in minimal or moderate quantities (oh, yes, I neglected to mention the Ben & Jerry's on Saturday, and what else...?! Quite a lot...), I have to go back to my rigid discipline.

Help keep me honest, folks! Help me get back to my numbers. This time I'm shooting for 155. 150 would be better.

So, today is the day. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Carpe diem. Seize the moment. Any other cliches anyone can think of?

Keep track with me at http://c-rella1.blogspot.com/.

Variations on a theme

So... did I mention I got a promotion?

Yeah...

There are a lot of people out there who look around and say "why do good things always happen for that person, and not for me?"

Instead of looking at what the successful person is doing, and emulating it (or --gasp!-- evaluating themselves to see what could be holding them back), these people are the ones who sit back and insist that they are a victim of their circumstances. They are The World's Victims. Victims of all those other people who fail to realize the Victim's potential. Victims of the successful people who are "out to get them" or "making them look bad."

These are the folks that think that, in order for their own light to shine, everyone else's has to be dimmer or unlit. Other people shining threatens them and causes them to draw back in fear and confusion. They gather their weaker subordinates close at hand to feel stronger in solidarity, but fail to see that by maintaining and nurturing close associations with less successful people, they are denying themselves opportunities to learn and grow.

If you ask them directly, call them out and ask why they don't emulate the successful person and try to align with them to learn ideas on things that have enabled the success (which most successful people are happy to share), the victims will look down their noses and say "well, I wouldn't want to be like that person," and go on to find or create problems they have with the successful person. Or, they will respond "well, what that person is doing obviously won't work for me because of X, Y and Z external factors that are clearly beyond my control." And all the while they will congregate together, negativity breeding negativity, gathering to whisper "oh! poor us!" and "isn't it terrible."

What these people (the Victims) fail to recognize, is that when they say "I wouldn't want to be like that person," what they are actually saying is:
"I am choosing not to be successful, because I elect not to change my behaviors to try to emulate those who have been successful"

And when they say "what that person is doing won't work for me because of X, Y and Z," what they are actually saying is:
"It is easier for me to convince myself and others that I have no control or contribution to my own success than it would be for me to take ownership and identify and make the changes that will work for me in order to become more successful."

Now, I understand, you may not like or respect everyone who is successful. That's fine! It is OK for us all to have personal differences, we are human. So here's my challenge: pick one. Select one successful person, ask them how they became successful and then actually try to change yourself or your behaviors, so that you are emulating a successful person. Instead of whining negatively about how you are a victim, you, yourself, take ownership of the situation and step forward and take a positive, proactive action. This is what separates the lions from the lambs, the successful from the unsuccessful. Own your situation. Change it. Stop originating from negative space and start originating from positive space. No one is holding you back but yourselves.

I can't abide a victim. Nobody here is a victim, except being a victim of your own poor choices.

Success is hard work. I've only attained a very small amount of it myself, but I am constantly working and learning and changing, to try to achieve more. And at the end of the day, when I look around and ask why I am not the most successful person I know, I recognize it is only my own lack of effort and my own personal shortcomings that I have to work to overcome.

But I believe that it's not too late for all of us to change! We can all grow. I have hope that we will all become successful!

And if you perceive me to be successful at something that you are not, then come on! Ask me - align with me! Let go of drama, victimhood and negativity, and present control, positivism and effort, and I will seek you out and align with you, if you let me. I don't have to put your light out in order for my light to shine. Your light cannot detract from mine, and vice versa.

So again, there are choices: get on board, or understand and come to peace with your own decisions and get over it.

This DailyOM resonated with me.

September 8, 2006
Alive In Joy
Dispelling Drama
There are scores of people in the world who seem to be magnets for calamity. They live their lives jumping from one difficult situation to the next, surrounded by unstable individuals. Some believe themselves victims of fate and decry a universe they regard as malevolent. Others view their chaotic circumstances as just punishments for some failing within. Yet, in truth, neither group has been fated or consigned to suffer. They are likely unconsciously drawing drama into their lives, attracting catastrophe through their choices, attitudes, and patterns of thought. Drama, however disastrous, can be exciting and stimulating. But the thrill of pandemonium eventually begins to frustrate the soul and drain the energy of all who embrace it. To halt this process, we must understand the root of our drama addiction, be aware of our reactions, and be willing to accept that a serene, joyful life need not be a boring one.

Many people, so used to living in the dramatic world they create, feel uncomfortable when confronted with the prospect of a lifetime of peace and contentment. The drama in their lives serves multiple purposes. Upset causes excitement, prompting the body to manufacture adrenaline, which produces a pleasurable surge of energy. For those seeking affection in the form of sympathy, drama forms the basis of their identity as a victim. And when drama is familial, many people believe they can avoid abandonment by continuing to play a key role in the established family dynamic. The addiction to drama is fed by the intensity of the feelings evoked during bouts of conflict, periods of uncertainty, and upheaval.

Understanding where the subconscious need for drama stems from is the key to addressing it effectively. Journaling can help you transfer this need from your mind onto a benign piece of paper. After repeated writing sessions, your feelings regarding the mayhem, hurt feelings, and confusion often associated with drama become clear. When you confront your emotional response to drama and the purpose it serves in your life, you can reject it. Each time you consciously choose not to take part in dramatic situations or associate with dramatic people, you create space in your inner being that is filled with a calm and tranquil stillness and becomes an asset in your quest to lead a more centered life.

_______________________________________

Got no drama. Want no part of it. Maybe I'm boring? TFB.

How to change your life

When changing your life seems too big to manage, think about what you can change in the next year.

When changing over the next year seems too overwhelming, plan around changes you could make this month.

When changing this whole month seems too challenging, think about changing just for this week.

When sustaining the change over the course of the whole week seems too much to bear, back up and focus on incorporating the change into today.

When today seems like it is slipping away... Take the next 20 minutes, and change now.

For Rhi

Rhi-
I miss your posts, your frequent rants; your personality that was once there for us all... Come back. Don't let Pablo's offer lock you into a forum you can't tap, I'm sure he'd agree, find what works for you and don't let an uncomfortable format be the thing that stifles your voice to the world. In friendship is love and support and understanding, not the least of which is the ability to accept and let each other go in the directions that fit us best. Nuff Said.

Saw these shots of Burning Man and thought of you. Going to the Gorge next Thursday for DMB, it will be an experience... I'm ecstatic.

Leaves goeth, before the Fall....

Head down, leaving work, I spot it.

15 feet ahead - the first brown, dry leaf of the season.

I am compelled.
It is compulsory.
Smashing it with my footstep,
No edge protrudes from beneath my shoe.

Relishing the dry crackle that whispers "fall".


I secretly stalk them, these first leaves. You may see me - meandering in an arc, out of my way (sometimes ten feet out!) just to hear the sound again.

When I was young I loved the springtime.
As a teen and twentysomething summer was the season to cherish.

I find it interesting, that my preference for the season aligns with my stage in life...

Almost there, fall. Almost.

It is coming.

And no love yet for winter.

Plants toxic to pets

From the ASPCA website:

Toxic Plants

This list contains plants that have been reported as having systemic effects on animals and/or intense effects on the gastrointestinal tract.

Please note that the information contained in our plant lists is not meant to be all-inclusive, but rather a compilation of the most frequently encountered plants. For more information, contact us at napcc@aspca.org.

A
- Aloe
- Amaryllis
- Andromeda Japonica
- Asian Lily (Liliaceae)
- Asparagus Fern
- Australian Nut
- Autumn Crocus
- Avocado
- Azalea

B
- Bird of Paradise
- American Bittersweet
- European Bittersweet
- Branching Ivy
- Buckeye
- Buddist Pine

C
- Caladium
- Calla Lily
- Castor Bean
- Ceriman (aka Cutleaf Philodendron)
- Charming
Diffenbachia
- Chinaberry Tree
- Chinese Evergreen
- Christmas Rose
- Clematis
- Cordatum
- Corn Plant (aka Cornstalk Plant)
- Cornstalk Plant (aka Corn Plant)
- Cutleaf Philodendron (aka Ceriman)
- Cycads
- Cyclamen

D
- Daffodil
- Day Lily
- Devil's Ivy
- Dumb Cane
- Deadly Nightshade (See Nightshade)

E
- Easter Lily
- Elephant Ears
- Emerald Feather (aka Emerald Fern)
- Emerald Fern (aka Emerald Feather)
- English Ivy

F
- Fiddle-Leaf Philodendron
- Flamingo Plant
- Florida Beauty
- Foxglove
- Fruit Salad Plant

G
- Glacier Ivy
- Gladiolas
- Glory Lily
- Gold Dieffenbachia
- Gold Dust Dracaena
- Golden Pothos
- Green Gold Nephthysis

H
- Hahn's self branching English Ivy
- Heartleaf Philodendron
- Heavenly Bamboo
- Holly
- Horsehead Philodendron
- Hurricane Plant
- Hyacinth
- Hydrangea

I
- Iris

J
- Japanese Show Lily
- Japanese Yew (aka Yew)
- Jerusalem Cherry

Back to Top

K
- Kalanchoe

L
- Lace Fern
- Lacy Tree
- Lily of the Valley

M
- Macadamia Nut
- Madagascar Dragon Tree
- Marble Queen
- Marijuana
- Mauna Loa Peace Lily (aka Peace Lily)
- Mexican Breadfruit
- Mistletoe "American"
- Morning Glory
- Mother-in-Law

N
- Narcissus
- Needlepoint Ivy
- Nephthytis
- Nightshade

O
- Oleander
- Onion
- Orange Day Lily

P
- Panda
- Peace Lily (aka Mauna Loa Peace Lily)
- Philodendron Pertusum
- Plumosa Fern
- Precatory Bean

Q
- Queensland Nut

R
- Red Emerald
- Red Lily
- Red-Margined Dracaena (aka Straight-Margined Dracaena)
- Red Princess
- Rhododendron
- Ribbon Plant (Dracaena sanderiana)
- Rubrum Lily

S
- Saddle Leaf Philodendron
- Sago Palm
- Satin Pothos
- Schefflera
- Spotted Dumb Cane
- Stargazer Lily
- Striped Dracaena
- Sweetheart Ivy
- Swiss Cheese Plant

T
- Taro Vine
- Tiger Lily
- Tomato Plant
- Tree Philodendron
- Tropic Snow Dumbcane
- Tulip

V
- Variable Dieffenbachia
- Variegated Philodendron

W
- Warneckei Dracaena
- Wood Lily

Y
- Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
- Yew (aka Japanese Yew)
- Yucca

Back to Top

Tsk, tsk... Naughty!

Interesting, the things you find on the web...!

Check out the trend watching site trendwatching.com for tidbits like this one and others (hey, I had to get your attention somehow, right?!):

Targeting a different kind of meet up, Naughty America is launching this summer. It's an adult (18+) massively multiplayer online dating game, where players can create their own avatars and explore a 'sexy' world, or turn on their webcams for some real world 'action'. Real-world meet-ups can be arranged for as well. In other words: a more than mature version of the HabboHotels and Neopets of this world, where members can sexually explore like never before. Although Naughty America is inviting players from across the globe, there's a vibrant opportunity to set up Naughty Belgium, Naughty Singapore, Naughty Australia, etc.

Mel Gibson: S. F. W. ?

Wow, he's a celebrity and he's a drunk! Guess what, he's also a bigot! O.M.G. He must be the only one, right?! Boycott 'im! Protest 'im!

Jesus H. Passion Of The Christ.

He's just yet another f*ing dumb ass in the world. And we're stopping the presses to print stories about him, giving him all kinds of (albeit, negative) publicity, why exactly?

And, what a lying contriving poser: (Mel to self) "Yes, there must be meetings... Meetings with the Jewish community will help me fix this. Must appear to place appropriate weight on the situation."

Vhut-ever, Herr Gibson.

It's quite possible

That I might just have to buy this book on principle.

I love them

I love classical guitar. And if you've ever played Mario Brothers, Music From The Mushroom is a requirement.

She's crafty!

No... I don't mean it like the Beastie Boys did. Just that I love to make shit, ergo I love this site. It kicks crafting ass.

Kitchen Gardeners, Unite!

Join a “growing” movement of individuals working towards a healthier, tastier, and more sustainable food system.

What is a Kitchen Gardener?

First and foremost, Kitchen Gardeners love food, both product and process. They do not dream of eating a good tomato, but a true tomato, picked warm and juicy from the vine at the peak of its ripeness. Their enjoyment of the fruit is a complete one because it is inextricably entwined with the memory of the plant in its various stages of development. They taste not only the fruit, but the care and honest labor that went into making it. In this sense, Kitchen Gardeners are gastronomes of the highest order. Their love of food extends beyond the plate to the soil, the natural processes, and the diverse cultures that are at the origin of all good food.

What is Kitchen Gardeners International?

Kitchen Gardeners International (KGI) is a 501c3 nonprofit organization founded in Maine, USA with friends from around the world. Our mission is to celebrate home-grown, home-prepared foods in their many international forms and to promote their role in building a healthier, tastier, more sustainable and secure food system. We use a variety of educational, outreach, and networking activities to encourage greater levels of food self-reliance on the part of individuals and communities. Our work is funded by individual members who share our goals for positive food system change. KGI currently has friends and supporters in over 50 countries.

Contact details: Kitchen Gardeners International, 7 Flintlock Drive, Scarborough, ME, 04074, USA, tel (207) 883-5341, web: www.kitchengardeners.org, email: info@kitchengardeners.org

Revelations

I my job

I have been wondering where I am going and what I am doing for so long now... I feel like I have been looking and looking for "the" thing. "My" job; my destiny, my purpose.

Revelation today. I love what I do. I love so much about my job. I love what I have been able to achieve in the roles I have had throughout my career. I just need to keep working; stay challenged, stay motivated, and keep growing.

It's an exciting time for me. I realized today that I can stop trying to figure out what my "dream job" is, stop looking around for what I am "supposed" to be doing, and get busy enjoying the here and now of WHAT I DO. This is who I am!

Does my wish not count if...

Does my wish not count if I wished on an airplane... or UFO? ; The star I wished on tonight strobed strangely regularly and bright, though remained stationary. Perhaps it was a satellite (I know you can see those from time to time).

Just my luck... My wish (a simple one - the same one I have had for years; simply, happiness) on a satellite.


Satellite
- Dave Matthews Band

Satellite in my eyes
Like a diamond in the sky
How I wonder.
Satellite, strung from the moon
And the world your balloon
Peeping Tom for the mother station
Winter's cold, spring erases
And the calm away, by the storm is chasing
Everything good needs replacing
Look up, look down, all around, satellite.
Satellite, headlines read
Someone's secrets you have seen
Eyes and ears have been
Satellite dish, in my yard
Tell me more, tell me more
Who's the king of your satellite castle?
Winter's cold, spring erases
And the calm away, by the storm is chasing
Everything good needs replacing
Look up, look down, all around, satellite
Rest high above the clouds; no restrictions
Television, we bounce 'round the world
And while I spend these hours
Five senses reeling
I laugh about the weatherman's satellite eyes.
Satellite, in my eyes
Like a diamond in the sky
How I wonder.
Satellite, strung from the moon
And the world your balloon
Peeping Tom for the mother station
Winter's cold, spring erases
And the calm away, the storm is chasing
Everything good needs replacing
Look up, look down, all around, satellite
Rest high above the clouds; no restriction
Television, we bounce 'round the world
And while I spend these hours
Five senses reeling
I laugh about the weatherman's satellite eyes.

Shopping... !

Checked out the new Fresh Market - Suwanee this weekend, it was... well... good. Not as good as Harry's, but slightly more convenient for me. Small store, great coffee selection, great bulk foods section (think nuts, candies, trail mixes). I didn't really fully check out their meats area, it wasn't what I was shopping for. Prices seemed typically high for the items that were specialty - similar to Harry's, I imagine. There are several more stores soon to come in the ATL area; I'm hoping a little competition in the specialty markets will mean slightly lower prices - we'll see.

What I am also excited about is Trader Joe's is coming to ATL! I've heard lots of good things about them. They're scheduled to open in November in Norcross at the Forum (Peachtree Parkway, in Peachtree Corners).

Also coming soon, a new (real) Whole Foods for Gwinnett - one scheduled to open near Medlock Bridge/State Bridge in Duluth this fall.

Exxxxcellent.

Phrases you wish you could say (and maybe, you have!)

- Ahh... I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again.
- I don't know what your problem is, but I bet its hard to pronounce.
- How about never? Is never good for you?
- I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
- I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
- I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter.
- It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
- I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
- I like you. You remind me of me when I was young and stupid.
- You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
- I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
- I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
- Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
- The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
- The connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
- I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
- No, my powers can only be used for good.
- You sound reasonable... Time to up the medication.

"Y'know, Dad, I don't think I want to join Indian Princess this year." After all, she reasoned to herself, she was a Big Girl now. If her sister wasn't going to join, then why should she? It wouldn't be half as fun anyway.

She did not know, indeed, could not have known until many years later, that this simple statement was the beginning. Between daughter and father, it was the first of many small betrayals. Though each could feel their heart breaking, neither recognized it.

He was no longer, and would never again be, the most important man in her life.

She did not realize until many, many years later that she could never again be a princess.

Anything but Joan Cusack!!!

Fun program to upload a pic of yourself and it says what celebrity you most closely resemble, which may vary based on which pic you upload. My first shot, it said I looked like Kirsten Dunst, the second pic came back with Kim Cattrall. I'll take it!!!

Anything but Joan Cusack.

I can't believe it.

I left work early (5:30) to try to get home a bit early to let my dogs out since JB is out of town. An hour and a half later (Let's see... 1.5 hours divided by 16 miles... That's 5.6 miles per hour. Yep, sounds about right.), I get home only to find that the idiot who cleans our house left the garage door WIDE open. Nice. With JB out of town, I've barely been sleeping as it is.

In a fury, I call JB in Florida. After raving about the cleaning person's idocy, how she is SO FIRED, in my frenzy, screaming "Susan ***** is an idiot" (actually I think I screamed 'fucking idiot,' to be precise) into the back yard (she lives in the neighborhood behind us), and telling JB to cancel the check for today's cleaning, I walk the house to make sure 1) everything appears OK and 2) nothing has been stolen.

I'm still sitting here, and so is my computer, so I guess all will normalize. I can't believe that idiot. Welcome home.

Shit.

After note: Yeah, ask me how my study of Buddhism, peace and love and all that crap is going. All hour and 1/2 sitting in traffic I kept trying to Practice the way the Dalai Lama advises in the book I am currently studying. I tried to take the situation and recognize it as a gift for me, to be able to practice what I studied and enhance my ability to exercise patience and tolerance.

Then, when I finally got home and figured out what was going on (I was initially confused, thinking maybe JB had come home early, maids were still here, something), I totally flipped my lid. I was spitting venom.

Umm... Yeah... Guess I've still gotta work on that whole anger thing.

I love my sister. Even if she is the anti-me.

When JB met my sister for the first time, he said she was the anti-me. We are pretty different, in a lot of ways. I'd love to move and travel fairly often, and I just realized the other day, as an adult she's never lived outside of a 50 mile radius of the home we grew up in in San Antonio. She has two kids and is active in her Christian church. Yeah, I'm pretty much an agnostic, at best... And, my two pups are the closest thing to children that I'll ever want.

Anyway - I love her. She's in a tough small farming town just outside the big city, which enables her to have a nice multi-acre spread for her family, and maintain a standard of living for her boys. No cable. No high-speed modem (at least, last I heard). They live it, and I respect it. And, her boys are good, well-mannered kids - she's doing the right things.

She writes articles for the local small-town paper. It's hard, because she's a LOT more liberal than most folk around those parts. Which is why I have to love and respect her even more when she stands up, and writes stuff like this. She's speaking up. She may not be radical, but she's making herself heard.

Jules: Salud, mi hermana; mi amiga.

You're an everyday angel.

Hop on board the (derailed) train of thought on links

Hey there everybody. If you read this, and you are a friend of mine (or a friend of a friend of mine, which by default makes you my friend, unless you don't want to be my friend, in which case, piss off and quit reading my blog, or if you are a stranger and want to be put into the consideration queue to become my friend {ha!}, or, just, well, whatever)...

If I can link to you, and you're OK with it, let me know and I'll pop you on here. I don't want to link to folks without their permission, and I am too frikkin pathetic and lazy to try to figure out everybody's email addresses to email you to ask permission if I can link to you. So if I can, comment.

Namely
- That girl, the writer
- Fuzzmoppet
- Breathing Lessons

Not to short anybody else, but I feel like I've connected with these ladies (sometimes I feel like I connected via a haymaker, but connected nonetheless!). And if you want to get connected, just say so. ((Tsk, tsk, naughty urchins... I'll LINK you!))

Foodie Porn

A few of my favorite things
(Homemade Wild Blackberry Jam)

Does anyone else find this disturbing?

Guess what, honey?! Yeah, I signed us up to get our wills done today, isn't that great?! Yeah, we're going to die sooner or later, right?

Hey, I know! Let's go out to eat to celebrate!

JAM ON! Wild blackberry jam, anyway.

So Saturday was partially spent picking wild blackberries along McGinness Ferry road. We got a pretty good haul; about 5 cups worth or so. Monday night was spent making it into low-sugar wild blackberry jam... 1 cup of sugar with 3 cups of Splenda, instead of 4 cups [!] of sugar.

All day at work and (between making dinner, making jam and prepping the week's lunches) all night standing in the kitchen, but it was worth it... boy is the jam GOOD!

I realized when I was about halfway through mashing up all the berries into a nice jammish pulp that I should have taken a picture of them first for posterity... Oh well.

As for what the finished jam looks like - maybe tonight I will have to make toast with jam as an appetizer and do some Glamour Shots so ya'll can see the finished product.

Big Brother Sucks

A couple of friends have had problems with employers finding and reading their blogs.

I realize this is a very real possibility, hence what you see here is the very bland white bread daily mediocrity level of my existance and not anything I really wouldn't want my bosses to know... Well at least most of it... I think...

But, I don't get it, why some people give a shit if you take 5 minutes to pop a post to your online journal when you're at work.

Personally, I've worked late and through countless lunches, always get my job done, am always ASKING for more work any time things are slow... I feel like my friends have probably done the same.

I guess some people have to work for bosses that are just miserable, nosy, vindictive, and petty.

Sad, really.

And if any of those people find and read this, I would like to take this opportunity to say:

Get a life (and stop judging and vicariously living everyone else's),
you pathetic monkey.

Sometimes I make myself laugh scare myself make myself laugh

This morning I stopped at Publix and picked up a salad for lunch and some pomegranate juice ("POM").

So I am completely distracted, walking to the breakroom to grab the bag out of the fridge so that I can eat, and a thought crosses my mind, "oh yeah, good, I've got that delicious pomeranian juice in there that I can have with my lunch..." I finally catch up to my own thoughts and am laughing out loud at myself as I stroll the rest of the way down the hall... Yeah, pomeranian juice. Yum.

And I just know the folks that I passed in the hall thought I was nuts, walking over there with this crazy smile on my face half laughing to myself.

Ha!!!!

FIE-nally

Hawaii pics ad nauseum can be viewed here. No time for helpful tags or anything useful like that.

Count the number of different views of Diamond Head...

Berry pickin' time ((as opposed to nose pickin' time*))

I've been watching the wild blackberries along McGinness Ferry since they flowered (months ago), waiting for the berries to form and ripen. Right now, most of the berries look like they are still too red (not ripe; lush, lustrous black), but I saw one bush that looked like it was covered in ((yum!!)) plump, ripe black berries.

I've been dying to check it out, but the usual 2"+ heel, business attire, and rush hour traffic aren't conducive to scampering across the busy 2 lane road and bushwhacking through the roadside flora to the fruit.

This weekend, I investigate.



*OK. So, every time I looked at my original post title ("Berry pickin' time"), the current (revised) title would vibrate in my head.

Sometimes, the voices in my head just insist on being heard. Even if they are juvenile.

Signs, signs, everywhere there's signs...

So... Is it a sign of my age (child of the 70's) that I remember the Girl Scout Brownie uniform being brown and orange?

And, yes, it is random.

I'm wearing orange and brown today and I felt like I looked like a Brownie when I left the house.

But then I found out that they're out there learning to square dance in brown and light blue these days.

OR.... maybe they're doing the macarena. Either way...

Whatever. I'm a dork.

Why call it a pocketbook?

It neither fits in your pocket, nor is it shaped in any way like a book. I don't get it.

Animal rights lover says"The little fucker deserves to die"!

I thought I could take it. I thought the day had come when we could all just get along, and we could all live as one. Imagine.

First, he ate my radishes. Mischevious mystery digging everywhere; I wasn't sure who was the culprit.

Then, he ate my strawberries, as they ripened. One. By. One. In spite of the bird netting carefully placed and secured (or so I thought). Caught red handed (probably even literally [!], stained from delicious finally ripe strawberry), the little fucker ran off the deck, dropping the half eaten berry on the rail before making his escape.

But now, he's gone too far. I arrived home and, following my normal routine, anxiously went on the deck to check the status of my Tom Thumb lettuce seedlings and to see if my other lettuces had sprouted.

What did I find, but murder! Mayhem! Half the Tom Thumb pot excavated and my seedlings, the precious innocent (not even yet delicious) baby seedlings, flung far and wide and laying dead or dying.

Horrible... Oh the humanity! Tiny bits of green everywhere. So tragic!

Little fucker. I've got plans for him.

Bueller....? Bueller....?

Thursday. Bow bow... chicka chicka

Get back, or get bitten.

Oooh wow. I am 15 minutes into my work day and OBOY am I ~~~pIsSy~~~ ! Gotta love that whole hormonal imbalance roller coaster. If it weren't for hormones I'd be really boring.

Normally, I'm a nice, normal person.



Ok, well nice at least.







No, really !!!!! At least, as long as you don't annoy me.


And, well... OK. Except this week.


Grrr. Fair warning.

I think I'm in love.

Fashion plate

Wow, weird childhood flashback to these Barbie "Fashion Plates" I had as a girl - you could mix and match the top, middle, and bottom parts of Barbie, then you put a paper over the pieces and made a rubbing of your design. If only fashion were that simple and everything went together with everything else.



I'm actually just here to say "the top is done!" Nothing spectacular, just a simple top. JB is flummoxed, he is just so amazed I can actually make something wearable. Yesterday, he said "it looks just like a top!" Tonight he said "it looks like something you'd buy in the store" "I mean, it looks like something that would be very expensive at a store!" . . . Hee hee hee. :)

Of course, since I made it I keep looking at it and critiquing every little fault. BUT! Be that as it may. It will be debuted tomorrow. And, as long as I don't have any wardrobe malfunctions, I'll be happy!!!!

Bored with myself

Not posting much other than links to stuff = "I'm bored with myself."

Started sewing again yesterday. It's been about...ummm... let's see - the last things I made were baby clothes for my first nephew, who is now... wow... TWELVE! OK, so it's been a minute.

I keep thinking about designs I want to do; like 6 months ago, back around the time Memoir of a Geisha came out, I was thinking how I wanted to do some long tops with an obi-like wide belt. Of course, now it is in every magazine. And I saw a girl with a loose baggy shirt on (poof sleeves, little delicate ties at the neckline) and I thought out of the corner of my eye that it was a soft white asian cherry blossom pattern fabric, which I thought was awesome, but when I looked it was just a white bread white shirt... Another vision...

So anyway... I went shopping over the weekend for some things to make and went hog wild on fabrics. I have enough stuff now to make clothes for a small army. Or, well, for me to suit my clothes horse need for at least 6 months. Now to just keep the patience needed for all the cutting and pinning and crap to get the end product.

So, I'm almost done with my first shirt. It's awesome.

Garden is incredible, had a few cucumbers, lots of sugar snap peas, and some broccoli. The broccoli would have been extraordinarily delicious. *IF*. It hadn't been tainted by my discovery of a couple of cute little not-so-delicious steamed caterpillars on it in the middle of dinner. Aside: what's the old story?... Oh yeah... At least I didn't find HALF caterpillars. Um yeah. Blech.

And that's the story of how I learned about cabbage worms, and bacillus thuringiensis.

Tomatos are everywhere! But still green.

Lettuce planted, heirloom varieties... It's a little late and hotter than lettuce likes it, from what I hear, but we'll see.

The 4400

SEASON THREE

The 4400 returns Sunday, June 11 at 9/8C with a two-hour premiere.

Read this forthe latest in the gripping saga that is...

The Vegemobile Diaries!

Last time I got 1075 miles - regular diesel tank last noted as filled 03/16/06 (must have missed one in there somehow... I can usually go about 6 weeks between fill ups).

This time - 1224.3 miles (thanks to warmer weather; quicker engine warm-up).

Filled up diesel, 11.519 gallons, $2.799/ gallon = $32.24.

Atlanta June 9, Tara Theater

Not Sorry Enough.

In Bush's recent press conference with Tony Blair he (surprise, surprise) took a more apologetic stance on the war in Iraq.

(hushed whispers) 'Backpedal, backpedal, quick! Republicans are sinking and elections are coming.'

"And I think the biggest mistake that's happened so far, at least from our country's involvement in Iraq is Abu Ghraib. We've been paying for that for a long period of time."

Uh huh. Only sorry because he got caught.

Last two things to say:

1) That's the biggest?

2) Not Sorry Enough.

One of the perks of having a veggie car

You hear interesting stories from people who learn different things about other altermative fuels! Thanks to a (non-blogging) coworker, who turned me on to a provider that hooks you up with plans to make your own ethanol still.

Although.... I have to say I am more than a little put off by their "To Our Dear Fellow Patriots" (ack... excuse me... just vomiting in my mouth a little) intro line.

BUT! Back to the topic at hand. With the still and resultant ethanol, you could then theoretically make and run an 80/20 blend in your car.

AND (bonus)... YOU'D HAVE A STILL !!!

How can you not love that?

What I learned today...

They say you learn something new every day. I don't know how true that is, but I sure try!

Today I learned that you are supposed to recycle flourescent light bulbs because they contain mercury. AND... guess what? You can take them to one of my favorite places to do that - IKEA.

(Did everybody know about this already?!)

Local or organic? It's a false choice.

From an article by Samuel Fromartz:

...organic food accounts for just 2 percent of food sales -- 1 percent if you include eating out. Similarly, local foods, though important, total 1 to 2 percent. So arguing over local or organic is a bit like two people in a room of 100 fighting over who has the more righteous alternative to what the other 98 people are doing. It doesn't really matter, because the bigger issue is swaying the majority.

Read the rest of the article here.

At the most basic level, being informed and choosing with intent can make a difference. For help, check these tips at Locavores.

Affirmations of a moron.

There are a lot of titles that have various connotations, like "queen."

There's "queen" - as in, referring to the 5 guys on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy as "5 queens" (on the commercial, in contrast to Kathy Griffin's "and a joker").

Then there's "drama queen," we all know one of these...

I, sadly, am the TMI queen. Or, if you prefer, Verbal Diarrhea Queen.

And, btw, who the hell first spelled diar"RH"ea and put it forever in the dictionary with the fubar spelling?! Just a few short chapters before ras"P"berries. Oops. Um... Yeah. Case in point.

So, yeah, I have this (bad?) habit of spitting out WAAAAY more information than anyone really needs. It is my sad attempt to participate in some way in the conversation, unfortunately it is usually with totally inappropriate and unecessary content.

The mental dialogue usually goes something like this: "Uh oh, someone is actually TALKING. To ME. I don't have my witty, outgoing, ready to talk to people hat on right now (which is usually only ready if I am initiating the contact and have time to prep myself for human interaction).... What should I do????! ((((PANIC!!!!!)))) I know, I'll fill the space with spastic behavior and inappropriate information!"
And then:
"Oh no. Now everyone is awkwardly uncomfortable (including me, but I was to begin with)... Okaaay.... I am going to bow my head in embarassment and slink away now......"

Blech.

Yes. Just in case there may have been any final lingering doubt (or hope)... It's confirmed. I am a moron.

Free the grapes!

Here's where I give a flying blog

JB gives his blow-by-blow account of our aerial tour here.

Life's a beach

  

Aerial shot of Diamond Head & Waikiki

  

Flying over Molokai

  

Surreal world

The rather surreal view of Diamond Head and Waikiki from Tantalus Drive...   

They're baaa-aaack...

Yep, plane landed at aprx 6:45 am this morning. I am dam happy, relaxed and fulfilled. A bit groggish due to the big time wacko time difference (here, it is 6:30 pm; there it is half past midnight). 05/16 Tuesday morning after note: scratch that - reverse it. Here 9 am; there three in the morning. Yeah, work this morning was rough.

Tomorrow, back to the grind.

Today, savoring the afterglow euphoria of sand, sun, fun, and so many incredible memories of a lifetime.

Love life large.

Oh! Wahoo!!!! V-minus 1 day.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow....

V-minus 2 days

V-minus 4 days

More on why I hate being non-confrontational

OK, so there is a coworker I work with, very nice person. Person knows that I drink tea and, every so often comes by and says "what kind of tea do you have?" always to be shortly followed by "oh, that one that sounds good, can I have some?" I purchase and keep a wide variety of tea, in my desk drawer, for personal consumption.

Now, where I come from, you don't just come around asking if you can have something of someone's unless they offer, or, unless you are friends. It wouldn't bother me if we in any way had a reciprocal relationship, where every once in a while person had something that I liked and they shared it with me. But they don't. Or even if we were anything like real "friends" - ie. ever spent more than 2 minutes talking to each other, having lunch, or otherwise had something over and above the basic cordial work friendship. But we don't.

I mean, should I walk around to all my coworkers and be like "Hey, Joe, I noticed you keep a some M&M's in your drawer. Can I have some?" "Hi Susan! I see you like to keep a case of bottled water under your desk. Can I have one?" "Hey Richard, you still got that jar of peanuts I saw you eating on Monday?" "Maria, hi! That lotion you used yesterday smelled great! Where is it? Can I use some?"

Am I wrong here?

I thought about taking all my tea home and being like "Nope, no tea. Sorry", but then I'd be denying myself. And, I think I've been over what a terribly compulsively honest person I am, I just couldn't lie. It wouldn't work.

It's just a peeve. I am so petty. OK. I'm going to just get over it now.

Ish. Politicians

When a politician does something like this Republican idiot did, it reminds me why I refuse to align myself across the board with either party. Yeah, give me $100 and I'll shut up and go away about the drilling in ANWR.

And here I thought Democrat Cynthia McKinney took the idiocy cake.

I think I can


I think I can

The countdown begins.

V-minus 5 days.

Adventures in canning

So, I have been all jazzed about home food preservation. I've been itching to get started on something... anything. So when I found this recipe for year round apricot jam I thought it would be just the ticket. I just knew it would satisfy my need to test out the process of home canning using the boiling water method (as opposed to the pressure cooker method, given that as yet I have no pressure cooker to speak of) AND, it can be made with readily available ingredients. So, as an added bonus, if I completely botched it I wouldn't have to cry over wasted freshly homegrown goods.

I pulled the jars out of the boiling water about 1/2 hour ago, and so far, all looks good! Won't know for sure until tomorrow evening at the soonest.
Yay!

M'm. Healthy!

I love blueberry muffins. Blueberry anything, for that matter. My favorite. So for breakfast this morning I thought I'd make up this packaged blueberry muffin mix that I bought. And, given my healthy / low (simple) carb / low fat & sugar orientation, of course, they are whole wheat blueberry muffins.

I whipped them up and doled them out into the mini-muffin pan and (by the magic of television) *poof* next thing you know I have hot blueberry muffins ready to eat.

I'm eating them thinking "well, these are OK. In fact, given that they are whole wheat, high fiber, etc., they're not bad." "AND, you know, since they're so healthy, you can't really feel too bad if you eat a bunch of them."

But then it hits me... Eating one doesn't really make you feel good. Why bother eating a bunch?

I mean, seriously. No one ever goes "M'm... These are so... healthy!"

Polar bears are drowning.

It's time to get educated and do something.

Nine more days.

Come on feel the noise

I'm not really sure why, but for some reason I've always had this aversion to being too direct in asking for what I want. Something in my upbringing has led me to be a person where being direct and specific somehow affronts my deep underlying understanding of propriety.

It's weird, because you know, it doesn't really bother me when people are direct and specific with me, in fact I prefer it. It's just this way I have of MY communication to others... Maybe it's fear. God, that's ugly. It's a hard light to look at myself under, but life on "easy" isn't worth it. I suspect that may be it. Fear. And fear of committing too strongly, coming down hard on one side or the other and finding out I'm wrong. I'm weak. Worthless and weak. Worse. Wishy-washy.

So what happens is that I take this nonconfrontational passive agressive approach to try to direct things, which often doesn't really work out the way I want it to. My fear is continually reinforced, though, because usually when I finally do break down to the point of being direct and specific, it comes off all harsh and inevitably ends up badly. I don't do direct often enough to learn the nuances, how to gently float the truth out there. I don't take time to polish the edges, just throw out the sharp jagged edged reality and hope it goes well. I toss it like a hand grenade, duck and cover. And I usually leave the outcome feeling like I'm the veteran, short a few body parts, thinking "wow, never do that again."

How to learn? How to nuance and massage the details into something presentable but still representative? It's my bane. It's my blind spot.

Floated some truths recently. I'm hoping I won't end up a victim of myself again.

Wow. Disappointment.

Just when I thought I was going places, I discover I'm really going nowhere fast. Boy is that disappointing.

But I refuse to sit back and be a pawn played to someone else's plan... Winds of change are blowing.

Gotta watch out for those tricksy plant dealers.

Bought a "Wild Ginger" plant, with handwritten tags indicating "Wild Ginger" and showing scientific name "hexastylis arifolia."

Long story short, what I bought is actually hexastylis arifolia, or little brownjug, and NOT, in fact, wild ginger, a.k.a. asarum canadense.

Those tricksy plant pushers.

After Note:
I posted something on the GNPS message boards about my disappointment in the mixup - to be fair, the info I received from Ellen there at their boards:

The confusion that you have encountered has to do with using a common name for a plant as well as some recent scientific name changes.

Hexastylis arifolia was up until recently classified as Asarum arifolia. Then the scientific classification for the evergreen gingers was changed to Hexastylis. Asarum canadense is a deciduous ginger and therefore retained the Asarum nomenclature.

Both plants are still widely referred to as "wild ginger" by common folk. Asarum canadense, while found in Georgia, is not as widely distributed as Hexastylis arifolia. Here is the distribution map on the USDA site for A. canadense:

http://plants.usda.gov/java/county?state_name=Georgia&state
fips=13&symbol=ASCA

Neither plant is associated with Zingiber officinale, which is the ginger associated with cooking in many areas. However, as you said, many native plants were used by indigenous people for certain ailments. Perhaps if you research using the old name (asarum arifolia) you might find more references.

I have both plants in my garden and use them in exactly the same growing conditions: shade to partial sun, neither excessively moist or dry. I happen to enjoy the evergreen presence of the hexastylis plants during the winter. Another great plant is hexastylis shuttleworthii.

Light summer fare

For dinner tonight I made a medley of salads using miscellaneous left over pantry and fridge items. I made a straight boxed Tabouli (mixed with the three slightly overripe plum tomatoes I had left over), a mildly spicy potato salad with a bunch of bagged white potatoes I had left over from making samosa filling last week, and finally, a mixed white bean salad with a bunch of pantry items:


I was worried about the potato salad, my initial inclination was to go the sweet southern potato salad direction, but available ingredients just wouldn't support it, so I ended up incorporating red pepper paste and chili powder... It was mildly spicy, not quite what I had envisioned when I set out, but JB said it was the "best potato salad (he'd) ever eaten" - which is a HUGE compliment coming from someone that eats quite a bit and wide variety of potato salads! Hmm. Ingredients - 8-10 small white potatoes, peeled, boiled and coarsely chopped, lots of low fat mayo, regular and Dijon mustards, various dashes of apple cider vinegar, white vinegar and balsamic vinegar until I got some combination I liked with the right "kick" - dash of lemon juice, lots of dill, probably 3/4 cup chopped celery and the same of onion (sweet vidalia like)... Let me think. Chili paste, chili powder, spicy Hungarian paprika... I think that's it other than salt & pepper. I think. Oh yeah! Probably about 3-4 tablespoons of dill relish.

After note: And, 2 hard boiled eggs, finely chopped. This, coming to me in a dream - realization last night that I left them out of my recap. How sad must my life be, that not only am I dreaming about potato salad, but dreaming about my blog entry about my recipe for potato salad. * Sigh * I am an admitted homebody.

My personal fave was the white bean salad. I'm going through some kind of white bean enamoration phase right now, though, so I'm a bit biased. I do think possibly substituting Kalamata olives for the straight black olives would have been better, but it was a "use what you have" kind of evening. To make the salad, mix up the following in a big bowl:

1 can large black olives - drained and coarsely chopped
1 can great northern beans - drained and rinsed
1 6oz jar quartered marinated artichoke hearts, drained and finely chopped
1/2 an orange bell pepper, seeds and ribs removed, finely chopped
2 scallions - green and whites, finely chopped
3 tbsp sun dried tomatoes (dry, the ones in the bag, not the jar, preferably) - chopped
1/2 cup or so of chopped cilantro
2 tsp. dill weed
1/2 tsp. garam masala
2 tbsp. olive oil
1/2 tbsp. white wine vinegar
1/2 tbsp. lime juice
salt & pepper to taste

All the liquid and spice measurements are estimates, it was more "a dash of this, a bit of that" mixing it up, being careful not to go overboard with any one ingredient before mixing thoroughly and tasting for quality.

This was a good one and will definitely be on the agenda again.

"Nice pants."

I'm wearing some rather, well, loud 60's flower pattern / Pucci reminiscent pattern pants today.

I've mostly gotten compliments, but now that Paulie has called them my "Dillards paisley vomit botanical camouflage pants" I'm just not so sure.