Happy birthday Fuzzy, happy soon to be birthday Rhi!
Today has got me thinking birthdays. Yesterday we celebrated our boss' birthday, and while we were all gathered together around the communal goodies, the coordinator I work with asked me when my birthday is. "January" I whispered. Why did I whisper, you ask? Because my birthday was conveniently "forgotten" by my team this year. Or, more specifically, what I believe to be true is, my birthday was subjected to selective memory by the catty haters I work with that are the birthday ringleaders. And, realistically, I am just fine with that. Actually, no I'm not, I'm hurt. But I think it's pretty dumb of me to feel hurt by the actions of shallow and vindictive people. So, I know. Get over it. But whatever, I do have feelings.
And, you know, I'm normally the optimistic benefit of the doubt person, but I had "BDAY" written on my VERY publicly displayed calendar in BIG, PINK letters, and I know I saw a few different people eyeing it openly in the days beforehand. Not to mention, my birthday was conveniently forgotten and belatedly celebrated last year as well. If anyone felt even a little bad about it then, they would have noted it down for future reference.
So (cut back to me, standing in the conference room holding my bowl of sugar free ice cream), of course my coordinator (a very nice and naive lady) looked at me with horror and whispered back "but, why didn't we....?" and I promptly shushed her and changed the topic. So today she asked me "you're going to be here Friday, aren't you?"
How do I explain - "thanks very much for your kind thoughts and friendliness, but it would be absolutely, utterly HUMILIATING to me to now have a ridiculously belated birthday celebration, and I really prefer not to give all the catty bitches the satisfaction of the public display of my pretend forgotten birthday three months after the fact"???????
Help. Just kill me now.
After note # 2: Yeah, I'm nothing if not proud.
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3 comments:
I warn people.
I used to start a month in advance so that they had plenty of time.
Up until three years ago, I used to do a countdown: Only 7 more shopping days until my birthday!
Then it got old, I got tired and now I just don’t give a damn. Until I make the mistake of telling someone and they ask “Are you doing anything special for your birthday?” and my answer is “Not unless you think sleeping is special.”
This year I have mixed feelings about it. I am working for a new company and I am still a temp, so I don’t feel like I should be on the birthday list. I have new roommates who baked me a cake, but I used to have a dinner tradition with my old roommate, so I’m all out of sorts now that it isn’t happening. Now that the day is here and I am not doing shit, I feel like I should have planned a little bit better.
Oh well.
C-Rella, just make sure you remind people regularly about a month in advance. It’s not that they don’t care about you, it’s that we are self involved creatures with tiny brains that we barely use. And those are the smart ones.
Pimp your birthday for all the cake and trinkets you can get gurl!!!
No kidding!
Last year everyone I know (mother, grandparents, best friends... ) forgot my birthday. Fuck work. I didn't even tell them.
This year I really did... as Fuzz suggested... On March 6th I started making plans. I would e-mail people and say "CAKE!" and then suggest that they pencil in the Saturday after my birthday for dinner and CAKE!
You know...
Everyone is stuck in their little world.
I've gotten good about "to me, from me, much love ME" gifts... and this year is no exception. Besides work, I'll spend my birthday alone. Saturday, I'm going to the museum alone. Saturday night, I've bribed folks with CAKE! to come and spend an hour or so with me buying themselves dinner.
Don't take it too hard, is all I'm saying. You have to throw that birthday flag out there way in advance-- and then remind them regularly. I hate it, but that seems to be the way.
Very, merry un-birthday to you 'Relly. Very merry indeed.
Rhi
I always plan something for my own birthday to ensure that I'm not disappointed. I also take my bday week off of work, so no worries there. Paul and I have been known to throw birthday parties in our own honor too. :)
When you are super prone to disappointment, like myself, you have to take matters into your own hands.
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