It seems that with any newly married couple the next question that comes up is "when are you guys going to have a baby?" It always surprises me that virtual strangers feel that it is perfectly OK to pry this deeply into something that I feel to be a very personal decision and also therefore deeply personal information. And yet, people do this every day with no qualms.
Here's my answer (and yes, Alex, it is my final answer) - I'm no mommy, dearest.
Yes, I always thought as a youngster that I would have the perfect house and the perfect family with 2.5 children. But then, at that age I also thought that there was a perfect job waiting for me and that I would be soooo happy in my adulthood eating cake or potato chips every night for dinner. I have since discovered that there is no perfect job. I enjoy consoling myself with the occasional potato chip or cake dinner.
The older I get the more set I am with this decision. Call it Generation X self-centeredness if you will, perhaps this is the root cause of this movement that John and I are a part of. We just cannot imagine voluntarily bringing the financial and personal disruption of a child into this life of ours. Call us hedonists if you will, but we are ENJOYING our independence! And we are not alone. Some of our closest friends have chosen to follow the same path (though I will not tag them with my selfish reason theory as the cause; their reasons are their own).
Dinners out like the one we enjoyed last night at Macaroni Grill only serve to confirm our decision. We could barely hold our conversation amidst the constant whining and bleating of several nearby children. I swear that some of the noises that come from children are of such a decibel and wavelength they could effectively be used to call Lassie home from another continent. Perhaps a "Tokyo Rose" style weapon in the war on terrorism. The repeated loop of "mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy" in an escalating pitch and note would surely drive some to lay down their weapons and run to hide in caves.
For some reason the decision and reasoning for not having children also seems to be one that everyone feels is up for open discussion. Parents always assume that you just don't have enough of an understanding of the joys of parenthood, and if you only could appreciate these joys you'd be out humping it up right away to produce those offspring. Believe it or not, all you parenthood preachers - I have had a couple of parents out there tell me they would have done it differently. Parenthood is not for everyone, and John and I have both decided, voluntarily, with no undue pressures one to the other, with no hesitation or concern, that it is not for us.
I'm no mommy, dearest, and I'm OK with that. I hope eventually everyone else comes to peace.
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2 comments:
This was so well written I feel like you should be getting paid for this stuff.
Good for you, standing up for your convictions with such eloquence. It is commendable that you don't let society bully you into a lifestyle that you do not want. One benefit to being a parent however, once you have children you rarely notice the noise of other people's kids.
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